Inspiration for writing this post came from an incredible book I’m reading, “Writing Motherhood” by Lisa Garrigues (a NJ mom herself). Mom or dad, single or not, parent or not, I think this book is required reading not only for bloggers, but for anyone that feels that their creative writing juices are evaporating.
The Silicon Valley Moms Blog and sister sites (of which I write on the New Jersey Moms Blog) is participating in a ‘virtual book club’, and has used the writing prompts of “Rules! Rules! Rules!” or “Good Enough” as our starting point. Be sure to check out the sites to read up on other mom’s take on the book. While I originally started out writing for the Rules! prompt, I see now that it covers a bit of both. Funny, parenting is like that too, you start on one path just to wind up realizing sometimes you need to mix things up to get the results you want
The way a person raises their children, I suspect, is directly linked to their own childhood. For better or worse. Way ‘back in the day’ I was allowed to roam our neighborhood, needing to be back home by the time the streetlights came on. If I couldn’t make it home by then, I would just pop into the nearest house (every third house was a relative) and give my mom a call. She knew how long it would take to get home from each house, and I knew better that to dilly-dally.
We were vagabond kids, with our greatest accomplishment being anytime we made it to the edge of the neighborhood and hit the grocerette for penny candy. We would walk out of there after spending two quarters each and feel like royalty, cramming our faces full of Swedish fish and Bazooka Joe gum from a brown paper bag. To this day I still have to eat the Swedish fish from a brown paper bag or they just don’t taste right to me.
We never asked our parents if it was okay to eat ALL the candy before dinner or told them who’s house we were going to. I never realized as a kid what this freedom meant, it just ‘was’.
Fast forward thirty years and if my daughter walks a few houses down to her friend’s house, I’m on the front porch watching her the entire way. If I call over at 5pm for her to come home for dinner, and she’s not here in 10 minutes, I’m freaking out. Keep in mind we live in a one-street neighborhood surrounded by commercial farms. There is no place else to go but another house on our street. Since we rarely keep junk food in the house, chips and cookies are always a big treat. If I give her three cookies, she will ask me at the start of each cookie if she is allowed to eat it.
How did my daughter get so cautious? It’s my fault to be sure, I’m always making sure she’s within arm’s reach of me or doesn’t go into a public restroom alone. But the bigger question is where did *I* come up with all these new rules? Why am I a stick in the mud when it comes to letting her be a kid and roam the neighborhood and eat candy before dinner? Yes, the world is a big, bad place (bigger and ‘badder’ than when I grew up anyway), but does that mean that danger is everywhere?
Up until now I thought I was doing my daughter a favor by helping her be cautious and aware of her surroundings, more specifically, aware of where I am at all times and teaching her that she needs my ‘ok’ for things to be safe. What I didn’t anticipate was that a good portion of her life would depend on my approval, my ability to make decisions for her. I thought I was helping her make those decisions herself, but I guess when she needed to go to me every time to ‘double-check her answers’ it really wasn’t helping, but enabling.
I’m trying to get her out on her own two feet, but slowly. She is a creature of habit, and will mindlessly ask me for my permission on the most basic of childhood joys, like playing with her friends, standing in the rain during a sun shower, or eating cookies. I’d like to turn her into a free spirit, just like I was growing up. I hope it’s not too late.
Technorati Tags: Writing Motherhood, NJ Moms Blog, Lisa Garrigues
Every day I get the mail at the end of the driveway after getting my daughter from the school bus. Now that school’s almost over, I’ll need another reminder to remember. In general, mail in our house is one of the primary reasons my kitchen is always a disaster (the other being the numerous drawings, markers, toys, and schoolwork my daughter brings home). Instead of just taking the mail and dumping it on the counter, I’ve been trying to go through it first and dump the junk main in the recycle bin in the garage on my in the house. I shouldn’t even have to do that! Why is my house messy because someone sold my name and address six years ago to a catalog company? I’ve been married eight years and I still get items addressed in my maiden name. Dear marketing professional, you did NOT get your money’s worth.
My family doesn’t catalog shop at all. American Doll and Build A Bear Workshop catalogs arrive eerily near birthdays and holidays. The only exception to the ‘do not want catalogs’ is Penzeys Spice. Even then we order online. Having that catalog in front of me, along with the recipes they sneak in, inspires me to cook. I’ll review them sometime in the future, but in the meantime go check them out! Cake Spice RULES!
My hopeful mailbox savior? Catalog Choice. Plus they have a great blog - something I think 95% of companies should have. Catalog Choice is a free service that lets you (after a quick and painless - and free) signup page, helps you get rid of unwanted catalogs from ever being sent to your home. It would be easy to just check off most every box and say ‘decline’ but that’s difficult for the companies sending catalogs. Instead what you do is enter the information directly off the mailing label of the offending catalog. This helps companies zero in on the exact database entry to delete.
The website and service is sponsored by Ecology Center, so there appears to be no hidden agendas. Reading the FAQ is really helpful too, even though normally those pages make me snore. One good point to make is that Catalog Choice doesn’t sell your information or give your email address to the catalog companies you want to decline. So far I don’t see any listings for the grocery store fliers I get several times a week, maybe I’ll make a suggestion that it’s added.
It seems that companies voluntary sign up for the list, so not every mailbox stuffer shows up. Why would they want to waste money and paper trying to sell you a product that you aren’t interested in. This to me is a good sales tip - don’t try to sell to those who don’t want to buy.
I’ll keep you updated to see if it reduces the amount of dead trees in my mailbox, and clutter from my kitchen counter. Now, if only my daughter would stop leaving her toys and crumpled bits of paper all over my house…
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Original post from the Reviews From The Radio blog. This post is an unpaid, unsolicited opinion completely inspired by a product, service, company, or website that I find worth writing about.
Technorati Tags: green living, junk mail, catalog choice, penzeys spice
This past Sunday, my family was invited by the New Jersey’s Moms Blog (where I also write) to an exclusive Kung Fu Panda party. To cover some of the basics, it was held at this adorable children’s botique / salon / play area Kidville & HP sponsored the event. We mainly went for our daughter, since the weather was going to be nice, and we’d never taken the baby into NYC yet. I never realized that everyone there was a blogger, either from NYC or the NJ Moms Blog. One gal happened to be up from DC, too. It seems the majority of us were busy with our kids and didn’t have all that much opportunity to chat, but a few grownup conversations were had.
There was a moon bounce, which my daughter always loves. A big hit for her was the Playdoh station where she got to make a pretty accurate Po the Panda statue. Her all time favorite was getting to play the XBOX 360 Kung Fu Panda game. She (almost) beat the pants off her dad playing the game. It totally amazes me how she (or any kid there) could pick up the controller and somehow instinctively know how to play the game. Finally learning how to use chop sticks was a huge help to me, as I don’t use them properly and really could never teach her! The girl that worked the candy counter and taught Kidlette how to pick up Goldfish and gummy bears with them should list that skill on her resume.
We are huge Jack Black fans, from School of Rock to Nacho Libre, and this movie will be no exception. Since the weather here in the Garden State will be swamp-ass hot this weekend (upper 90F) a movie theatre, some Cokes, and a hopefully quiet 7 month old will be enjoying the movie.
As for our trip into the ‘city’ with two kids, well, I could have planned better. My husband and I are used to working and commuting there from our house, but whoa brining kids is a whole different animal. Kidlette is easy, she’s just shy of 7. Besides making sure I throw a few bottles of water and some snacks in my bag, she’s good to go. The baby, well, breastfeeding lightens my bag by a pound or two, and a container or two of food for him as well as some diapers and a change of clothes and we were golden. But, then, THE STROLLER. The. Evil. Stroller. Not that I don’t adore the pack-mule-on-wheels, I do, but try getting around on NJ Transit trains and the NYC subway system with one. My first thought was to just carry the baby in the sling all day, but then realized what a wreck my back would be. Note to self, the subway system SUCKS for strollers or people with wheelchairs, period. Plus, traveling the subway on a weekend is hard. I’m guessing it’s when all the maintenance goes on, and the C line wasn’t running to/from where we needed it to, so instead of trying to figure it all out, we just grabbed a cab. Surprisingly easy with a stroller.
Next time we venture into NYC with the kids I plan on doing something that we can do at an easier pace (we were 30 minutes late for a 2 hour event). I can see the draw for some people to live in the city with kids. There are seemingly hundreds of things to do within walking distance and almost all of them interesting to both parents and tots. For now, I’m more than happy in my Garden State!
Technorati Tags: Kung Fu Panda, Jack Black, HP, Hewlett-Packard, Kidville, NYC, NJ Moms Blog, XBOX, XBOX 360
Originally posted at Lynette Radio
